On last week’s Parks and Recreation (NBC, Thursdays, 9:30 EST), there was one storyline that finds Tom Haverford and Leslie Knope going to dinner. When Amy Poehler’s Leslie asks Aziz Ansari’s Tom, he responds that he’ll go only if he can get “zerts” and “apps” - desserts and appetizers. Cut to: the most hilarious to-the-camera- run of one liners in recent memory. Says Tom:
“Zerts are what I call desserts. Tray trays are entrees. I call sandwiches sammies, sandoozles or Adam Sandlers. Air conditioners are cool blasterz with a ‘z’. I don’t know where that came from. I call cakes big ol’ cookies. I call noodles long ass rice. Fried chicken is fry fry chicky chick. Chicken Parm is chickey chickey parm parm. Chicken Cacciatore chickey catch. I call eggs pre-birds or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks food rakes.”
Well, thanks to the Internet, we now have http://tomhaverfoods.com/
Enjoy it like you would the finest plate of chickey-chickey-parm-parm.